Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic

Starbucks lady:
"And may I take your name for that order m'am?"
"Beyonce"
"Er..And you sir?"
"Usher"
RachyB and StevieB strike again. 

My brother, Stevie B, is basically a dry-humoured Eminem. Because he is white. He has Gangnam Style like never seen before. By this I mean he picks up Korean chicks with no butts. Just kidding!

Who turns up to a UCBerkeley-themed Party wearing a Stanford University hat? 

Stevie B

One day we were walking down the street and we saw a street sign. And I dared Stephen to take it. Now it's in his room.  It was a cool had-to-have-been there moment.

But anyways, the point of this blog is to share with you the remarkable wisdom Stevie B has said to me throughout my life.  It hit me deep in the core of my small intestine his words were that powerful. In moments of sadness, moments of despair, moments of fragility, I turn to Stevie B and his comments lead the way. His insightful teachings have changed the way I live my life. And I hope they change yours whoever is reading this...(I'm a really nice person) (Sharing is caring)

"Everyone who's ever taken a shower has an idea. It's the person who gets out of the shower, dries off and does something about it who makes a difference. 

Moral of the story:  If you showered more, Rachel, you'd have more ideas."

"I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches."

"Those that forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it."

"Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge."

"I used to be a lifeguard, but some blue kid got me fired."

"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but a risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. El oh El just kidding. The greatest Hazard in life is jumping off a cliff. Trust me Rachel, don't try it."

"Some people can sit through life regretting every minute, and hate all the years of their life. Or you can get hit by a bike. Your choice."

"Life is short, art long, opportunity fleeting, experience treacherous, judgment difficult. But it's okay for you Rachel, because you are going to live forever."

"What is this?"->

Stayin' Classy

So. I did it. 

I'm here and have arrived safely in the U S and A, just like Borat did. But hopefully a lot less messy. 

Meeting various Americans throughout my San Diego/LA experiences these past two weeks has been a pretty entertaining experience for me.

Here are snippets of some conversations that Californians said when I met them:

"Oh my GAD. So wait. You're from LONDON? Like that place in Europe? They speak French in London cos it's close to France, right?"

"That's awsome that you're from London, dude. You're so exotic that's so hot. Hey have you met Hermione Granger?"

"Europeans don't shave right?"

"So, like, do you think that, like, I have an accent? Like, to me, do I sound like weird? Like, cos like I think I just speak normal."

"London as in LONDON ENGLAND?? Oh my gad. So like my best friend's uncle's sister in law had a son who moved to london!!!!!!!!!!!!! (!!!!!!!)"

"NO WAY My friend called Paul lives in London! Do you know him?"
      "Well, what's his surname?"
"What does surname mean?"
      "A last name"
"Oh. I don't know I can't remember. I just thought you might know him"

"So do you guys have posters in your house of the queen and stuff?"

"Wait I can be so good at British. Hey don't walk away...listen!!  Wuld you lek a cuupo tey? How was that? Huh? Huh?"

The funniest thing ever was when a group of Chinese people walked up to me and started speaking English in cockney accents:

"maaaate I love brits man how you doin bruv?"
    "Oh wow! Are you guys from England too?"
"Na lav. We just learnt our English from watching skins."

I laughed so hard at them they just walked away from me thinking I was some rude bitch. But seriously. What the hell.

"Dude you look so cute, is that a romp? I totally love rompers. So in"
        "Erm...what's a romper?"
"The thing you're wearing. A one piece? Why, does romp mean something different in London?"
       "Yeah, to romp someone usually means to have hardcore sex."

"So is your house super small cos you live in a city?"
"Yeah, tiny. I live in a terraced house."
"Wait you have terrorists living in your house?!"